I Reached Into My Purse and Pulled Out the “Cancer Card”

Cancer sucks. We can all agree on that. And metastatic cancer really sucks – you can take my word for it. You were dealt a really crappy hand when you got cancer, but one of those cards just happens to be the infamous “cancer card.”

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When you have cancer, you are automatically given a “cancer card.” It’s part of the membership to the “Cancer Club.” With the “cancer card” you can milk your diagnosis for what it’s worth. And why wouldn’t you, really? You’ve earned it!

Don’t judge us, you know you would do the same.

Now, I’m not saying the “cancer card” can get you out of everything. You still have to pay your taxes, find yourself a job, wait in line when Christmas shopping, follow the law (and obey rules, regulations, and bylaws), pay for things, and it can’t get you out of having cancer, either (bummer, I know).

And you shouldn’t abuse the “cancer card.” That’s just wrong. It’s for those well-needed breaks. The times when you just become overwhelmed and can’t deal with everything, and you need a little help.

So when can you pull out your “cancer card”, you might wonder? Here are a few instances when doing so is deemed appropriate and beneficial:

1. You need an MRI, CT scan, or test of any kind…….with the “cancer card” you get top priority.

2. When you want to take a nap during the day or sleep in a little longer…. I’m feeling really tired, it must be the cancer. Cancer card.

3. When you are losing an argument with your significant other….I can’t think straight right now, it’s probably my chemo brain. Note that this can also work when you can’t figure out a Crossword puzzle or Sudoku.

4. When you want to get out of doing the dishes, cancer card it up. Sorry, I just don’t have any energy lately. I think I’m just going to sit here and rest.

5. When you really feel like going out for dinner or ice cream….…The “cancer card” coupled with the “I have cancer face” is really hard to say no to.

6. For all those other times that you may deem it necessary…Uh, cuz I have cancer, duh?

I don’t want to list too many, as that might just make you feel guilty.

Oh, and the other good thing about the “cancer card” is that you can joke about having and using it (kinda like I did in this blog post).

Anyway, I’m off to make some dinner, I’m not going to use the “cancer card” for this one.

Love, health, and humour!
xo

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