Did you miss me?

Hiya everyone! 

This is just a little update to let you all know that I am still around. So many of you have reached out to me over the last little while, which was extremely touching and inspiring. 

I have had many unexpected circumstances arise as I was about 3/4 through my whole brain radiation treatment. Here I thought things were going just peachy, however not so much. Essentially late Thursday night on April 21st, I noticed my writing was terribly messy, but didn’t think too much of it. On Friday my hand felt very weak and I realized I could not write at all. By Sunday I had lost the total use of my right hand, arm and fingers. It was completely dead weight. I had no idea what on Earth was going on. That was some very scary shit. Pardon my language. 

And it didn’t end there. My right leg started to become heavy and weaker as well, and my speech started to go too. I was slurring my words, couldn’t put a sentence together for the life of me. I have never been so freaked out in my life. It was the most frustrating experience. I knew what I wanted to say but I couldn’t get the words out. And for those of you that know me, I generally am never at a loss for words. I also started losing balance because one side of my body was so weak, and I fell in the bathroom. Luckily I didn’t hit my head or cause too much trauma, just hurt my left knee. And the craziest part is that I didn’t have any symptoms before undergoing radiation. And now this happens.

My radiation oncologist put me on steroids at this point as he figured that there was some swelling but he also suspected the tumor on the left side of my brain (which controls the right side of the body) had grown. I was devastated and super confused. It grew while I was undergoing treatment?! He ordered an MRI to see what was going on. 

The results of the MRI did not show tumor growth at that point but they did show massive swelling especially on the left side of the brain. Okay, so now I could breathe a little.  

The radiation doc said that if it was the swelling only then the steroids would help it go down and I would be regaining the movements and functions I had lost. I have been on the steroids now for over two weeks and I can say with so much excitement that I am regaining the use of my right arm and hand, my right leg doesn’t feel heavy and my speech is pretty much back to normal, which means I can talk up a storm again. I still don’t have the fine motor control in my fingers yet, so I can’t really write or type properly but I am making incredible progress. I have even used my right hand a little to type this 🙂

As for the steroids, they have had some minor side effects so far, the worst is probably the insomnia, given that sleep is super important especially for cancer patients. It has gotten better though. I gained strength on the left side of my body and my appetite is insane. I always had a very healthy appetite but now roids make Sabrina very hungry. Not sure why that sounded like a caveman.

My hair is pretty much gone which took much longer than five days and there are still some stubborn ones and patches that just don’t want to go. Not really enough to do a combover though. 

And there you have it, that’s what has been going on in my life over the last few weeks. I had to keep things interesting right? Now we still don’t know whether the radiation has worked as that will take a couple of months to see the results, but I am hoping, praying, and wishing that it did. Then the next steps are to figure out how to control Mildred, both in the lungs and brain so she doesn’t wreak anymore havoc. She has done enough.

Thank you so much to all of you for the emails, the phone calls, the texts, the packages in the mail, the prayers, and the incredible support. You guys are truly amazing, really. 

Alright I think I have said enough for now. I am going to go eat some more.

Health, love, and eating.