A week of rest, relaxation and murder.

Okay, so you are all probably thinking that the brain mets have totally affected my cognitive abilities, but I assure you the title of this blog is correct.

The reason I have been away from this blog and all of you for so long is because I haven’t been quite feeling myself and I didn’t want to write blog after blog where I just complain and moan and groan about how unfair life is or how angry I am at the world, or how terrible I have been feeling. Not to mention that most days I  didn’t have the energy to even write a blog. I have experienced an incredible amount of fatigue whereby I couldn’t even lift myself off of the couch. And don’t get me started on having to go pee, this was a terrible interruption to my lying down all day and sleeping. Seriously, I was too lazy to go pee. All I wanted to do all day was rest. I didn’t want to do anything, go anywhere  or socialize with family and friends. I would panic if the phone rang or people came over the house.

Then there was the nausea and constant upset stomach, which all of you know I hate. Well it was back with a vengeance. I lost my appetite for most things, I lost weight and I had to force myself to eat during the day. I still struggle with this daily. Things are a tiny bit better some days now, but definitely still not the old Sabrina. I need to get back to that, back to me.

Now I am not so sure what the nausea is caused by. I assumed it was a side effect of the radiation, but of course things are a bit more complicated in my life. I can feel a bump on the right side of my stomach. I had an ultrasound done which found a 2.4 cm lesion in the muscle of my abdominal wall. It never stops with me. I need to have a biopsy done soon to determine exactly what it is. I hope with every fibre of my being that it is benign, but either way, it has to be dealt with. And it might mean more surgery 😦 If I could use a homicidal enraged face emoticon, I would. But all I have access to is this sad face one. Oh well.

Although I don’t want to do much these days, I did want to get away from everything and everyone for a while. Fortunately for me my in laws have a cottage where I can do exactly that. Just to be surrounded by nature, peace and tranquility, and to have some time alone. I truly love it there. We will try to get away as much as possible over the summer. Our first visit was this past week.

I still felt my usual nausea and tiredness up there, but it was different. Perhaps it is the fresh air, perhaps it is the sheer peacefulness of the lake, or perhaps it’s just being far enough away from my usual routine and life in general. 

image

So amazing!

So now that I have talked about rest and relaxation, I will talk about the murder, as I am sure all of you are curious. 

We had to kill a mouse while we were up there. Eeeeeeeew, right?!

One night we noticed the garbage had a hole in it, so the following day we decided to put a mouse trap in effect. However, to our surprise, the trap did indeed trap our little trespasser, but it didn’t kill it. So we were forced to do the dirty work. It literally was a scene from a comedy to see Garrett and I try to rationalize our actions. Although mice creep me out (I think it’s the tail that freaks me out), I didn’t want to have to kill one. And neither did Garrett. So, like murderers, we began to justify our actions.” Just think about it”, I told Garrett. “What about if this is a serial killer mouse? Think of all the mice we are saving by killing the serial killer mouse.” It definitely couldn’t have been the Gandhi or Buddha mouse, spreading peace to all because a nice, honest mouse would not have broken into our home nor would it have engaged in any obscenities there (the bugger poohed everywhere). In a short period of time, we had become vigilantes protecting property and fighting for justice for all, keeping everyone safe from the actions of this horrible criminal mouse. We were no longer murderers. We could sleep at night now. However, I confess we killed a lot of mosquitoes while up there too. Oh come on, don’t judge us, they had it coming. We are still good people, I swear.

So this is what I have been up to the last little while. I am praying that things will improve. Looking forward to getting back up to the cottage again for some more rest and relaxation, and hopefully no more murders.

Health, love, and cottage life.

xo


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12 thoughts on “A week of rest, relaxation and murder.

  1. Nice to hear from you again 🙂
    and we had a half dead mouse a few months ago due to a faulty trap in my kitchen. And I still shudder at the thought of it. I made Jer toss it into the green bin. I could not be that murderer lol

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  2. I’m so happy to hear all your stories again. I missed you so very much and your humor and optimism plus the smart way you are fighting Mildred it’s an inspiration and an encouragement for all of us who’ve seen her ugly face. I’m praying for you every day and I’m looking forward to read a new chapter of your journey. I don’t know if you put a smile on all cancer girls faces but for sure you did on mine.

    Love and peace

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  3. Thank you for the update Sabrina! You
    are in my prayers and positive thoughts.
    Bill has plugged the tiny holes around the
    plumbing in kitchen and bathroom.
    Hopefully that is the end to psycho
    trespassers on our property! Hopefully
    no more murders take place😀.
    Except for mosquitos!!! FEEL FREE!!
    Love Angela. Your MILxxoo

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  4. Great to see your post popping up in my email!! You continually inspire me with your strength and determination (and humour!!)

    Keep smiling…
    -Allan

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  5. It’s good to hear from you. I have been thinking of you often. I can understand the extreme fatigue and not wanting to eat as my husband experienced that with his chemotherapy treatments. The radiation wasn’t quite as hard on him but he also hadn’t been fully zapped as you are.

    We also retreated to a cottage up in the Tobermory area for a week when he was under treatment and he loved it too. It really was the best place to be. Nature definitely has a healing presence.

    As for the mice problem, again, I can identify. I lived in the Hockley Hills area for 21 years in an old log cabin with lots of little holes and places for mice to enter. I’ve caught my fair share. One day I set a trap up under my kitchen sink where the mice were entering through a hole near the plumbing and caught 40 of them in one day! Many of those were not killed either. The trap sometimes just caught them by the tail, maybe a paw, or even one on his nose. It was horrible having to deal with them. It gives the creeps just thinking about it.

    Thanks for writing. I was getting a little concerned for you. I hope you get many more days to enjoy the cottage.

    Sincerely,

    Barb H.

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  6. I’ve been thinking about you a lot. I figured you were feeling lousy. Keep on relaxing, your body needs to heal.
    Nelson had to kill a mouse in our pantry a couple of months ago. Would you believe that one little mouse knawed through half a sweet potato? Anyways, poor guy sat in his glue trap and I was too scared to go into the pantry for a week afterwards – lol!

    Can’t wait to see you soon!
    Xoxo Kathleen

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  7. Hi Sabrina,
    I’ve been thinking of you and continue to wish you well. It’s incredible that by the end of your last entry, you had me in stitches! You are a beautiful soul! Enjoy the beautiful view at the cottage – it will nourish your spirit.
    You continue to be in my prayers.
    Gina
    xoxoxoxo

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  8. Hi Sabrina,

    We are always thinking of you and your perseverance. We pray for you always and this ugly disease will find a cure. You are an incredible person for enduring all that you have gone through and continue to go through. Keep the faith!

    Love,
    Clair

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  9. Hi Sabrina,
    I think of you often and was happy to hear you got away to the cottage. The picture you shared shows how truly amazing it was and that view is so good for the soul.
    I should send my kitty Bella with you next time as she is quite the hunter. She acts as pest control in the neighbourhood and leaves me a ‘gift’ on my front walkway just about every day!
    Warmest regards,
    Laurie

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